An Artist’s Hard Truths

Mental Health Day thoughts


I can’t believe it has been almost a year since I wrote a blog. I always thought I can continue doing the blog on a monthly basis.



So why couldn’t I? I’ve been asking myself about this over and over. And I guess my solitude time here in a new city got me thinking again, trying to find answers to some things I wanted but didn't do anything about it. The truth is I was doubting myself and my reasons for doing my thing which is the art and sharing them. At some point when I went home, no matter how confident and happy I project myself on social media (which I am a lot of the time) there was a part of me that sometimes didn’t believe or understand the life I was trying to live or the career path I took. I also didn’t feel inspired enough to write something.


Today is Mental Health Day, and I thought of sharing some hard truths about being a creative individual.


In today’s generation, we artists are now privileged by the power of the internet to show our works and our stories. But this too comes with great obstacles. Here’s a hard truth, it’s not easy to show up.


Do we really need to show up? What if I don't? Am I really good enough for this?


I decided to be a freelance artist last year, and it's been more than a year, and somehow for starters, showing up out there is one of the main ingredients, and it needs to come along with authenticity, being genuine, being inspiring, motivational, creative and so on. For someone who just got freed from the shackles of corporate life, a lot of things were new to me, and I felt like I wasn’t authentic enough or inspiring enough because I don’t have lots of followers, and I was at a point wondering again why am I creating? now that my art is my job, I lost the pleasure of creating for the sake of creating. Now it should be created to get liked, get leads etc…

I had (well... still have) a moral crisis of my reasons for creating.


So let’s try to make sense of this somehow. What I’m trying to share are hard truths I felt about choosing this life, and these things are hard to admit and even share. But what I’m trying to do here is to make myself aware clearly of these truths, hoping I can help others face it too. and if you feel the same, know you’re not alone.


Being aware of what troubles you, what makes you sad, or lonely and being able to define all the negative feelings you feel, is one step and after awareness embracing it is your next step to freeing yourself from it. But how do we embrace it?


For me, I simply cry if I feel like crying, write it down, and share it with someone I trust. It doesn't mean that those feelings will never come back though, they will keep coming back, and they will always offer us an experience to grow and learn.


Also, things I do to help me manage my thoughts are:


Journaling




Reading


Books that are written by:

  • Brene Brown

  • Alain de Button

  • Haruki Murakami

  • Toshikazu Kawaguchi

  • Haemin Sunim

  • Always be Creating by Abbey Sy




Watching Inspiring Movies:



  • The Bookshop - Because I love books and here’s to courage!

  • Ghibli Movies (Esp Kiki’s Delivery Services and Whisper of the Heart) - For some touch of innocence

  • The Pursuit of Happyness - Hardcore Motivation

  • Girlboss - Badass Inspiration

  • Friends - For some good laughs

  • Big Bang Theory - Also for some good laughs



Listening to Podcasts:



Find a trusted friend, a fellow creative, to talk to.

Go for walks, do yoga, go to a bookshop or cafe.


Here’s some extra advice:

  • If you can afford it or if the service is available, don’t be afraid or feel ashamed to talk to a Psychiatrist.

I still go back and forth with my self-doubts that's the truth, but then again, who isn't? I find that realization comforting as well. Knowing I'm not alone. But that doesn't mean I have ignored what I feel or tried to forget it because it will try to keep coming out.


And now to my main realization:

Sometimes I blame the world, the people because they are cruel, but there are times, in fact a lot of times that I have to realize that I am the one cruel to myself.

Let's try our best to be more kind to us. I'm still figuring out how from time to time. Let's see where it goes.


So for my thoughts for today, just like any artwork, I hope I somehow it sparked something in you, my dear reader.


Thank you for your time

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