On Starting Again

After a long pause, I’m drawing again.

If you’ve watched my latest vlog, you’ll know this moment didn’t come with fireworks or a big “I’m back” announcement, but rather with quiet reflection, hesitation, and honesty. This blog is not a summary of that video but an extension of it. A space to think out loud and share what this creative reset is teaching me.

Why I Paused

For nearly a year, I put my art on hold, specially my professional illustration projects sat untouched while I adjusted to life in Belgium and pursued a Master’s degree in Cultural Studies. It was a big leap. One fueled by curiosity, a desire to learn again and understand the deeper forces shaping the creative world I’ve been a part of.

This shift wasn’t easy. I moved across countries, immersed myself in academic theory, and in doing so, placed my creative self in hibernation. I thought I’d bounce right back into art-making after submitting my thesis. But instead, I found myself feeling... lost. The academic mindset clashed with my usual flow of creativity.

Back to creating

It started with one drawing. Then another, just the gentle act of creating again. I participated in SCBWI’s July prompt Mismatched and made a small character sheet. That small act made me smile, and I realized: I missed this. I missed storytelling through images. I missed drawing for joy.

At the same time, my thesis research, which explored how children’s book illustrators navigate identity and visibility on Instagram, reminded me that creative labor is more than just the act of drawing. It’s emotional, relational, and deeply affected by the digital spaces we show up in. I learned that visibility is both a tool and a trap, and that many of us feel the tension between creating with authenticity and performing for the algorithm.

I’m still learning how to navigate that.

A Creative Re-Start, Not a Rebrand

I’m not coming back with a big marketing strategy or a neatly packaged aesthetic, but with curiosity. With a new sense of care for my creative process and hoping the keep the mindset of “Let’s just see what happens.”

This time, my creative goals are less about output and more about intention:

• To enjoy drawing again.

• To apply the visual storytelling insights I’ve learned.

• To connect with other creatives meaningfully, not performatively.

• To work towards getting published or finding an agent, not with urgency, but with clarity.

Let Your Creative Self Breathe

If you’re also in a season of starting again or even confusion, here’s my gentle reminder: you don’t need a big plan to return to what you love. Have some space to imagine again, to draw for yourself, to reset the pace and listen to what creativity wants to tell you now.

And that’s where I am. Sitting with my sketchbook in magical corners of Leuven, sharing little pieces of this journey, to connect. Maybe even for healing.

Thanks for reading, and for being here. Whether you’re watching, reading, or just quietly rooting for me, thank you. ✨